This proverb is believed to have an African origin. It’s been in use for quite a while and there is no record of the first use and actual origin of this proverb. There are few other similar proverbs in use, such as ‘Calm sea does not make a skilled sailor’, ‘Rough seas make the best sailor’ etc.
Yet even in normal times, wedding planning can lead to incessant stress, but when you have to sort through new save the dates, restrictions with vendors, moving your date, and other unexpected concerns, this overwhelm increases tenfold. Although current events have sparked us moving in new ways and adjusting to the uncomfortable, this new way of thinking is always applicable to life, no matter the circumstances. We were made for this, even if at times it doesn’t feel that way.
One of the most beautiful things to come out of this year is the number of silver linings that peeked through. What is truly special, was the opportunity we had to go back to the drawing board. We had the chance to sit and talk about the bones that make events so personal and special. Why we do what we do and who we have the opportunity to do it for are the pillars of our existence. We learned how to translate and adjust to accommodate restrictions across the country. All in all, we were given the opportunity to make history, reframe our perspectives, and adapt while never losing sight of the impact we can have on our clients and our community when we adjust our sails due to the unforeseen winds.
Our clients Molly and Charley were two who took the plunge in adapting to marry on their original wedding date, while saving the reception for an intended 2021 date, and the result was unlike anything we could have imagined. In reconfiguring the event, one of the largest changes we made was integrating a digital experience into one that’s so traditionally in-person. Live streaming the ceremony to nearly 372 people who would’ve physically been in attendance created a connected community from all over the world. As we watched their guest’s login to the stream from behind the scenes where we stood, our adrenaline pumped with both relief of success but also the reminder and one thing above all: love wins. This was made possible by Watertown Films, and for a peek at how we did this, we hope you enjoy this video!
We also took all of their design elements and worked with their contracted vendor team from up and down the West Coast, from Los Angeles to Seattle to bring their wedding day to life. Without the dedication, willingness, and professionalism of this vendor team, none of this would have been possible, and to say we are grateful to stand alongside such a strong group of people would be an understatement.
Despite the fact that the world has crumbled in many ways, and no doubt, things are scary and unstable, love somehow always conquers—and having that support system is key to fueling this adjustment period, which brings us to this: The most important part in all of this was being comfortable with the uncomfortable. This meant that we wouldn’t and couldn’t lose sight of what we, our clients, and our community are capable of.
And although a smooth sea may have never made a skilled sailor, we remain hopeful for calmer tides ahead.
Lord Buddha’s*** meditation was disturbed by a lady who was wailing. She was carrying her son in her arms who had died in infancy. The lady was persistent in her pleading to have an audience with the Lord Buddha, but the Lord’s disciples were not allowing her to move past them. They were also not at fault as they did not want to disturb Lord Buddha from his ‘dhyan’. However, that was of no avail and the rumblings, shouting etc. did break the meditative trance of Lord Buddha. He looked at the woman with the gaze, which was serene, peaceful & divine. The look was so calming that for a moment, even the woman forgot all her miseries, pain only to wonder for that moment as to why she was there. She shook herself out of the spell & shouted ‘Lord’ please listen to my request, I am distressed.
The lady pushed the stream of Lord’s followers who were initially clamoring her to halt her movement towards deity. Lord Buddha spoke ‘Let her come’ & asked ‘Lady! what makes you cry like this’. The lady said ‘My Lord! my young son expired in the morning. He had not even seen his first birthday. This is injustice & inhuman. Please have mercy’. Lord Buddha said that ‘this is Destiny & God’s will’ however the mother saw no reason and said ‘Please tell me how is that even possible for the God because if he exists and loves his creations i.e the humans , then how can the almighty crush the flower[son] before it even blossomed’. She continued further ‘you can do miracles, the other day you had made a bed ridden woman rise, please have mercy on me & make my son rise back to life’.
Lord Buddha realized the futility of the conversation, yet he also knew that the woman needs to be made aware of ‘The Ultimate Truth’. Lord Buddha said with poise “Ok Lady, I will make your son rise back to life but for that you would have to need to get some soil from the house which never ever witnessed death’. The lady saw hope in this, she bowed and hurriedly ran to the village. One house to another, dusk till dawn but to no avail because there was not even a single house where a death had not taken place in past or present. Thus, she could not get the soil as was asked by the Lord Buddha. This ordeal gave the lady the enlightenment but being the mother, she still had the pain in her form & misery in the eyes. She just went and lied on the earth in ‘Dandwat Pranam’ with her hands touching the feet of Lord. The heavenly saint just smiled, placed his hand over her head and the pain lessened. Thus, Lord Buddha gave the big lesson to her as well as to the mankind that ‘Death is the ultimate truth’ and thus practicing detachment is the best way ahead.
In the same analogy I feel failure & death are same with one stark difference. The similarity between two is that there would not be any single living being on this planet earth who has not faced failure -big or small. The difference however is that after death -life of the body ceases but when one fails or falls down then this failure offers one & only one choice to all that differentiates the living being from being dead – It is “TO GET UP AGAIN EVERYTIME WHEN YOU ARE DOWN”. Thus, it is a moral obligation for all us who fall to get up again.
Is it easy? Yes, it is easy because it was difficult to fall-isn’t it? Moreover, when you fall, you hit the ground zero -Life ensures that there is only one direction to turn towards from here and that is to move upwards. This brings to me share with you all that when we are succeeding, winning that is the time we need to realize that if we have to up our game then we all should know how to manage a failure, loss or disappointment. We also need to be aware that these tribulations, failures & losses are very important to be faced because they are the steppingstones, learning blocks for everyone to get to the advanced level of life. The advanced level which is few attain and become experts. That is the reason it is said, and I believe ‘A Smooth Sea Never Made A Skilled Sailor’. The rough weathers, the high-pressure mines & extremely high temperatures are the reason for the possible Coal to become DIAMOND. Both are carbon at the core but in terms of relevance, value & standing to mankind have the differentiation well carved out.
Thus, whenever we see that our comfort zones are being challenged by the forces of nature or the circumstances in life, we all must rejoice ‘Voila!’. Rejoicing gives us the much needed energy 😊 and also makes us aware that the life is churning us for greater good that will chisel our lives in order to bring out the DIAMOND in us. This is the law of nature and we must remember friends! that God will give one the problem only when he/she knows that you have the capability to overcome and solve it. He goes a further step ahead by ensuring you also have the resources and support to accomplish the purpose of life by surmounting all obstacles that will keep cropping up. Thus, always feel blessed and know that if the sea was always calm then you would have never enjoyed the sail. Moreover it brings forth the fact that one would never become a mariner in whose hands you place trust with your life by sailing in his/her boat unless that mariner has experience of operating when tide. The rough seas prepare you for situations which are bound to occur in everyone’s lives.
Further it is human psychology that we all seek adventure & excitement otherwise mundaneness of life makes it a drag. Therefore, having an idea of a challenge is liberating that makes it all the more exciting. That is why we continuously are seeking to challenge the status quo, go beyond our ability by stretching more because once you have achieved a goal that was a stretch for you, it gives a realization that everything is possible and this changes your approach to life.
I remember when I was in school in Class X, I realized that Maths is my weak spot[worth mentioning here, that I overcome this with persistence to score highest in Engineering college in Mathematics -Another story 😊 for Another Time ] . This Maths became my handicap so much so that I scored in single digits and few time naught ‘0’😊 😊 . This subject was a strong suit in my family [at least they tell me that 😊 ] , my father was in accounts department thus this failure went to another level-it became family embarrassment & a prestige issue for Dhar Clan.
We all know that Class X Boards are like a big event in every Indian students and their family’s life. So was the case for me however my pre board Maths score had cast aspersions on my future life. My Confidence was shaken & I sheepishly had to say yes to tuition. The tuition teacher way back in year 1995 charged INR 100 /- an hour. It was a princely sum at that time, and I felt super guilty to make my parents pay for it. It is difficult to express the emotions which I remember vividly and would want each child to know that Please!!! Do not ever feel guilty or get burdened by the situations that are beyond your control-Children or humans are meant to stay joyful and they must always.
Thus, this guilt and inability to comprehend what the smart tuition teacher was teaching made me eventually give up the classes. Everyone had given up on me including myself. Friends I survived because I choose to get up after my debacle in Pre-Boards. I reminded myself of the saying that I learnt in Army “Keep Your Head Down and keep Moving Ahead”. I started diligently by copying solved Maths Problems from the great [my times] Manjeet Singh guide . Reproducing the solved problems helped me understand the steps & gave me confidence to attempt unsolved problems using the same technique. ‘Inch by Inch, Life’s a Cinch. Yard By Yard Life’s Hard’ by John Bytheway is very apt here. Finally, from barely passing in Pre Boards-I scored first class in Maths in my Class X. It was very special for me as it taught me that no situation is so grave that you cannot be turned around.
Thus, I urge you all to remember next time when you face a disappointment, rejection or failure-you just need to take a moment there, then rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. Life is to feel alive and brace the lows along with the highs. It is the balance or equilibrium that will separate the man from boys, woman from girl and peace from turbulence. Acknowledge the chaos, loss & uncertainty in our lives because that is the first step towards recovery. Denial is dangerous and wastes precious time for all of us.
Rebounding from here was an effective personal strategy for me & that will take you also places as it took me. We need to turn towards children for the source of inspiration here. You can witness kids falling, crying & then getting up again to continue playing. They just do not let anything and not even a fall stop them from enjoying their games. So, keep the child in you alive and the passion burning because every time you failed & then got up meant you went a step further closer to your personal success. If you can steer your ship of life in a rough weather, then any sea would be a breeze to you. Thus, keep moving ahead, keep getting up & remember till eternity ‘Embrace the Rough Seas, Chaos & Uncertainty as they prepare you for Glory’